Wedding Ceremony in America
By. Rev. Shokai Kanai – Los Angeles
Nichiren Buddhist Temple

The wedding ceremony is one of the most important events in our life. However, the number of couples who remain married are decreasing every year both here in America and in Japan. Fifty years ago, twelve out of every 1,000 people in the U.S. were married, but it is now eight out of every 1,000 people. According to the 1975 census in Japan, 95 percent of the population over 40 years old were married, but it is 70 percent now.

Nevertheless, it is said that the number of wedding ceremonies have increased since the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks that occurred in the eastern coast of the United States due to people feeling the anxiety of being alone. I myself have personally conducted three wedding ceremonies in the past year.

The wedding ceremony conducted in a Nichiren Shu temple or church where the Mandala Gohonzon is enshrined is very formal. However, ceremonies outside of the temple are more popular in America these days. They are held in various places, such as the banquet room of a hotel, a private wedding house, the beach, or in a garden to name a few locations.

Chapter 21 of the Lotus Sutra says, “Be it in a garden, in a forest, under a tree, in a monastery, or in the wilderness, there should be a stupa erected and offerings be made to it, because we know the place where the stupa is erected is the place of enlightenment. Here the Buddhas attained Anuttara-samyaku-sambodhi. Here the Buddhas turned the wheel of the Dharma. Here the Buddhas entered into Pari-Nirvana.”

Therefore, when I perform a wedding, I take a set of the altar, such as the Gohonzon, a candle stand, an incense burner and a flower vase to wherever the ceremony is held.

The music played at a wedding could be the traditional wedding march in the western style, gagaku (traditional Japanese noble music), Hawaiian songs, or other music. It is up to the couple’s taste. The most important matter is for the couple to make their marriage vow in front of the Nichiren Shu Mandala Gohonzon which is the symbol of universal harmony.

The order of the ceremony may differ depending on the efficient, so I will not describe it here. The traditional ring exchange is of course held. Besides the ring exchange, there will be a presentation of ‘juzu’ rosary from the efficient, incense offering, recitation of the Lotus Sutra, chanting the O’Daimoku, “Namu Myoho Renge Kyo” in unison and the traditional Japanese ‘san, san, kudo.’ This is the ceremony in which three sake sips are taken with three different size sake cups between the couple. “Three” is an indivisible and lucky number. So the nine sips taken from the sake cups symbolize triple happiness. It is a wish and prayer for the newly wed couple not to be separated.

However, after many years have passed since the wedding, many couples insist on their own selfish ego. They may grieve, “Marriage life is inconvenient! I cannot do what I want to do!” However, an ideal marriage life is one where you can change your inconvenience to feel happiness no matter what your spouse does. Make your spouse’s dream your own dream. Then you can help each other. Marriage life is a part of Buddhist practices.

Chapter 2 of the Lotus Sutra says, “Ekka Shu Shin” which means “The Buddha makes living beings delighted.” Chapter 16 of the same sutra says, “In Go Shin Ren Bo” which means “Because you fall in love (to the Buddhas).” Buddhas are not outside of you or your spouse. They are within you and within your spouse. Marriage life is a wonderful way to practice the Lotus Sutra.